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We were just kids

We
We were just kids when we said no matter what we would make it together.
Outlandish dreams and aspirations, nothing was out of reach. Be it being the first to fly to the sun and no one could argue that we practically couldn't make it close enough to claim the title without being burnt to ashes.
We were just kids so hopeful for the future even though we didn't know what it held.
We may not be treading the same paths because you're no longer here, we drifted apart or just don't reside in the same area anymore.
But what a bliss to look back to when we were just kids.

I
I looked different, felt different and pursued different paths. I was cautious when I spoke, walked and was present wherever I was. 
I laid brick by brick to secure my parameter and raised walls that cut some ties or just made me harder to connect to. 
I wore a masquerade of 'I'm fine' even when I left bloodtrails when I walked by.
I was knocked down enough times to know what was and was not 'possible'. 
My definition of words like love, trust, friend and forever changed though I couldn't decide if I was better off for it. 
What happened to just being a kid?

Them
Outside my ever transforming bubble, the world around me changed too.
I wasn't seen the same or even treated as such.
I wasn't included in some conversations because I was within a binding category of gender, race, age and even class that didn't apply before. 
Casual was not only linked to clothes, 'just for fun' phased real meaning from consequence, love, together and forever. 
In came naive, unrealistic, outsider and the new normal.
Responsibility caught up and it was time we paid our dues for our fallouts.
We were no longer kids and that was spelt out loud and clear.

Us
Us who are together to be less alone, suited conveniently but not attached yet in search for something more to it, real even.
Us who feel connected and heard with posts rather than upfront conversations.
We pose as so many things we aren't only to be confronted by who we really are when the lights go out and we are alone with ourselves. 
Fighting passion with profitability and outright survival.
Perfect strangers with a whole lot of history.
Broken are the pieces we have been shaping lately and we do not even know it.

......

Well of late I've been in a coming of age phase. The shift from childish ways and pointing fingers to 'real life' that came needing no introduction.
Our folks have grown slower, the wrinkles on their faces triggered not only by a smile. The babies in the house are not so little anymore and some are ours even. We parted ways with our old time friends, if we are lucky we meet every now and then and are still close knit. We acted on our 'when I grow up I want to be a....' fantasies or opted for a totally different path altogether.
Our beliefs continue to be tested, perseverance tried.
The great reckoning, the wants to move out, make something of ourselved by ourselves, the quiet times spent thinking.
Watch out world I'm grown.

To the dreamers
If reality didn't steal it from you, you still have dreams; to make so much by when, that dream car, a vacation to who knows where and with who knows who.
Take me back to when intentions were raw, love was genuine and sorry meant it was all ok, dreams were feasible and forever didn't last for four months.
To evolving but still remaining childlike 
Not conformed to what is said you can and cannot do.
To boundless possibilities where saying things like 
'I will be the richest man in the world' hadn't been beat out of our minds.

To the broken and beat up 
Defined by past circumstances, you may like I not recognize who you've become. 
From a little version of yourself you want to make proud to emerging variations in an attempt to do so and other times just plain old losing your way. 
I see it in the mirror,
Much more than my dark brown eyes but more of what they've seen. Not my long legs but the places they've led me. My hands, my ears, my lips, this isn't quite me.
Carved by pain I didn't deal with, crooked stitches hang from times I tried to fix me, grief, regret in moments I wished I'd,...

But

"Even our brokenness is for God's good. God can take the bad things in life and use them for His purposes. This is often outside of our comprehension as humans, but we only have a limited view of God's ultimate plan. God is using your brokenness for His good, now and always."
-Romans 8:28-


We are still evolving on our diverse paths but let the sunrise be hope for a second chance, you're not done yet and you still have another shot to have your head in the clouds and your hands on the plough.
I for one can still change the view outside my window, take my parents on a trip, sell a painting, buy myself a camera, attend a gallery let alone host one, design my dream house subtle in size but grand on detail and travel the world among the many unticked boxes of my bucket list.
We might have just been kids but well we're still here, grown.

...........

And that's a wrap on this post.
Thank you for reading up to this point.
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"WANart x Let's talk Subject"
And for my latest watercolour painting below.
Take care and until next time🙃✌🏾




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